I am a terrible human being.
Today is mother's day.
Not only did I not wish her,
I "ruined" a family dinner with grandparents.
Yes, it is official now,
I am a disappointment.
You see, I don't want to go,
I know I will be grilled,
and knowing my mum,
she will probably shame me in front of my grandparents as she always does in front of everybody else.
My grandpa will nag at me, then ask me to find a gov job
My uncle will just spew whatever company comes to his mind
and well, my grandma would say something, less annoying than the others,
but something nevertheless.
So I made a plan to flee.
I left the house half an hour before they are set to leave.
Catching mum and sis by surprise.
You see, I can never let mum know,
else she's nag and nag and nag and nag
and keep trying to guilt trip me to go.
I went westmall,
to get some scrunchies to cover up my wrist,
the one I've been using is well, loose.
I don't think it's important what I do there.
Mum sent a text
saying something along the lines of
"Can't you even let me have my day?"
Sis texted me, saying mum will be understanding
and that they will cover for me,
diverting the topic should anyone asks.
It's funny that in her text, my mum sounded like she understands?
Which is something far from expected?
Did my sis tell her about what I said?
But she still kept trying to guilt trip me?
I went home,
pretty much dreading what will happen next.
Because in my mind,
I am pretty sure I will get berated for making her lose face in front of my grandparents
and then she will proceed to reproach me for ruining her mother's day,
for being unfilial.
I feel like my heart will leap out of my chest if I were to hear them entering the house.
They came back,
and I waited
and waited
and waited
even afraid of going to the toilet for fear of crossing her path.
But the night ended with her going to bed without uttering a word to me.
And grandma had sis pass me a hundred dollars.
Somehow,
this is bad too.
I am now filled with guilt.
Was I wrong?
Was I nothing but a whiny child trying to push all responsibility onto her mother?
Is she actually understanding and thus, is trying not to rile me up?
I am a terrible human being.
Still, all conclusion points to the fact that I should die.
I am too weak to withstand anything.
I couldn't be the child she wanted,
I can't bring her fame, nor make her proud,
I can't give her money, nor a comfortable living.
Terrible, terrible waste of space.
Today is mother's day.
Not only did I not wish her,
I "ruined" a family dinner with grandparents.
Yes, it is official now,
I am a disappointment.
You see, I don't want to go,
I know I will be grilled,
and knowing my mum,
she will probably shame me in front of my grandparents as she always does in front of everybody else.
My grandpa will nag at me, then ask me to find a gov job
My uncle will just spew whatever company comes to his mind
and well, my grandma would say something, less annoying than the others,
but something nevertheless.
So I made a plan to flee.
I left the house half an hour before they are set to leave.
Catching mum and sis by surprise.
You see, I can never let mum know,
else she's nag and nag and nag and nag
and keep trying to guilt trip me to go.
I went westmall,
to get some scrunchies to cover up my wrist,
the one I've been using is well, loose.
I don't think it's important what I do there.
Mum sent a text
saying something along the lines of
"Can't you even let me have my day?"
Sis texted me, saying mum will be understanding
and that they will cover for me,
diverting the topic should anyone asks.
It's funny that in her text, my mum sounded like she understands?
Which is something far from expected?
Did my sis tell her about what I said?
But she still kept trying to guilt trip me?
I went home,
pretty much dreading what will happen next.
Because in my mind,
I am pretty sure I will get berated for making her lose face in front of my grandparents
and then she will proceed to reproach me for ruining her mother's day,
for being unfilial.
I feel like my heart will leap out of my chest if I were to hear them entering the house.
They came back,
and I waited
and waited
and waited
even afraid of going to the toilet for fear of crossing her path.
But the night ended with her going to bed without uttering a word to me.
And grandma had sis pass me a hundred dollars.
Somehow,
this is bad too.
I am now filled with guilt.
Was I wrong?
Was I nothing but a whiny child trying to push all responsibility onto her mother?
Is she actually understanding and thus, is trying not to rile me up?
I am a terrible human being.
Still, all conclusion points to the fact that I should die.
I am too weak to withstand anything.
I couldn't be the child she wanted,
I can't bring her fame, nor make her proud,
I can't give her money, nor a comfortable living.
Terrible, terrible waste of space.