I thought this would be one of those days where I didn't have to write
because initially, I was feeling pretty mehhh.

I woke up slightly pissed because I slept late,
I had trouble falling asleep last night.
I slept at 4 plus I guess?
Then I went and woke at 10 ish.

Why can't I just sleep my days away like depressed people should?
Life could be so much easier that way.
But no, I'm always forced to wake up and dread life.

I tried napping in the afternoon,
but tough luck,
there's delivery and I got woken up.
Can't go back to sleep.

So I laid on bed and tried to go back to sleep like I always do
but nope, the dread feeling came,
so I keep telling myself I should kill myself
yada yada ...

Finally, the alarm rang and I got up to shower.
I'm meeting Qz tonight.
The blood came, I knew it.
Always to screw with me at the worst possible moment.

Last night sister told me about going to grandma's this sunday for mother's day.
You know what, fear struck me.
I don't want to go.
I have to find reason not to go.
Maybe sneak out of the house so they can't find me.

My mum will take the opportunity to grill me on job hunting
and expectedly tells me to be less choosy, to just take anything ...
Then my grandpa will tell me to go for gov jobs
grandma will ask,
uncle will ask ...
Please leave me alone ...
I don't wanna be there ...

I know I'm a useless piece of shit
I'm a disappointment,
I know that,
so stop shoving it in my face already ...
Why can't people just let me be?

Edit

Period did not come today,
annoying trolling piece of shit made me spot for 3 days already.