I've been getting the heart pounding feeling the past 2 days.
I still can't figure out what triggers it
or if it's random at all.

I woke up early today despite still being tired
was it the heart pounding? was it my mind?
I don't know.

I just don't like it,
it seems whenever I start waking up with less than 7 hours of sleep,
I panic a little.
It brings back bad memories of when I constantly woke with only 6 hours of sleep or worse.
Those bad days where I'm alone and have to struggle with wanting to hurt myself,
those days when I have no interest and no want,
those days when I tire so much but can never sleep much,
the days that I'm forced to be awake to face my demons.


My period is light as usual,
with only red blood on the first 2 days
and brown and barely any flow on the others.
It hurt this time.
Clots are moderate?
But they can still get pretty big when they do appear.